Robert Holden shares the following ten tips to increase happiness.
1. Define Happiness – A person’ definition of happiness, influences significant decisions in his life.
2. Accept Happiness – Be willing to accept that happiness already exists inside you.
3. Follow Your Joy – Notice what truly inspires you, listen to your heart’s desires and recognize your soul’s purpose.
4. Choose Happiness – Choose instead of chase happiness.
5. Free Happiness – A lot of happiness is overlooked because it doesn’t cost anything.
6. Love Someone – People who give their time, energy and attention to their important relationships are happier.
7. Forgive Now – Forgiveness releases people from their past and positively affects their happiness course.
8. Vocal Gratitude – The more grateful a person, the happier he/she is.
9. Beware Martyrdom – The person and the people around him are happier when he treats himself better.
10. Be Present - Happiness is where you are. The more present one is in each moment, the more happiness he/she will find.
The above tips are discussed more in the slideshow ‘10 Ways to Find Happiness’.
While discussing the satisfaction levels of some individuals, in another related resource, he uses a term "happy-chondria" for a condition based on a belief that any happiness carries an eventual fall and price (A related technical term could be cherophobia). Dr. Robert Holden says that a person has got to dare to let life be great, and trust that happiness can happen and that it can last.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Endorphin Visualization
Robert Holden is a psychologist, author and broadcaster with expertise in the field of positive psychology and well-being. He holds a Ph.D. in the Psychology of Happiness. He is a personal and professional coach and coaches in business, healthcare, education and sport.
Endorphins are endogenous opioid compounds and have the ability to produce a sense of well-being. Holden suggests the following visualization for a wave of good feel in the body and mind.
Endorphins are endogenous opioid compounds and have the ability to produce a sense of well-being. Holden suggests the following visualization for a wave of good feel in the body and mind.
| Imagine that your body is filled with golden light (It can actually be whatever colour you like – any colour that brings a smile to your face when you think about it.). Now imagine that light flowing throughout your body like a warm liquid, nourishing every cell and organ along the way. If you look closely, you can see tiny little ‘en-dolphins’ swimming in the light. Each ‘en-dolphin’ is a carrier of joy. Imagine yourself diving into the light and swimming with the en-dolphins. You can continue doing this for as long as it feels good. |
Monday, October 5, 2009
Kindly Happy
Kindness is the act or the state of being kind and marked by charitable behaviour, marked by pleasantness, tenderness and concern for others. A random act of kindness is a selfless act performed by a person or persons wishing to either assist or cheer up an individual or in some cases an animal. There will generally be no reason other than to make people smile, or be happier.
A close association has been reported between kindness and happiness. Kind people experience more happiness and have happier memories. A simple intervention of counting acts of kindness daily for a week (‘counting kindness’ intervention) has been shown to increase happiness. By acting kindly and being aware of the acts of kindness, people appear to become happier and more grateful. Variety in the acts of kindness can positively moderate the effect of such strategies.
There is a beautiful, phrase "Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty", which may have been coined by peace activist Anne Herbert.
The ‘acts of kindness’ website provides resources and ideas for spreading kindness.
Reference:
Otake K, Shimai S, Tanaka-Matsumi J, Otsui K, Fredrickson BL. Happy people become happier through kindness: a counting kindnesses intervention. J Happiness Stud. 2006 ;7:361-375. [Full text]
A close association has been reported between kindness and happiness. Kind people experience more happiness and have happier memories. A simple intervention of counting acts of kindness daily for a week (‘counting kindness’ intervention) has been shown to increase happiness. By acting kindly and being aware of the acts of kindness, people appear to become happier and more grateful. Variety in the acts of kindness can positively moderate the effect of such strategies.
There is a beautiful, phrase "Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty", which may have been coined by peace activist Anne Herbert.
The ‘acts of kindness’ website provides resources and ideas for spreading kindness.
Reference:
Otake K, Shimai S, Tanaka-Matsumi J, Otsui K, Fredrickson BL. Happy people become happier through kindness: a counting kindnesses intervention. J Happiness Stud. 2006 ;7:361-375. [Full text]
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Gratitude Visit
Expressing gratitude to others is among the most effective ways of raising our own and others' level of happiness and well-being.
The gratitude visit exercise was practised as part of Martin Seligman's positive psychology class and was considered one of the highlights of the class.
For a gratitude visit exercise, Martin Seligman suggests to select one important person from our past who had made a major positive difference in our life and to whom we could never express our gratitude. Then with adequate thought and time, a testimonial expressing our appreciation should be written. The length of the testimonial should be about one page.
When ready, the testimonial should be read to the person face to face and not expressed over phone or sent by mail. We can travel to the person's home or invite him/her over, but not tell the purpose of the meeting in advance. After settling down, the testimonial can be read aloud slowly, with expression and with eye contact. A laminated version of the testimonial should be a gift.
Expressing appreciation in this manner positively impacts relationships and the happiness of both the recipient and the person coveying gratitude.
The gratitude visit exercise was practised as part of Martin Seligman's positive psychology class and was considered one of the highlights of the class.
For a gratitude visit exercise, Martin Seligman suggests to select one important person from our past who had made a major positive difference in our life and to whom we could never express our gratitude. Then with adequate thought and time, a testimonial expressing our appreciation should be written. The length of the testimonial should be about one page.
When ready, the testimonial should be read to the person face to face and not expressed over phone or sent by mail. We can travel to the person's home or invite him/her over, but not tell the purpose of the meeting in advance. After settling down, the testimonial can be read aloud slowly, with expression and with eye contact. A laminated version of the testimonial should be a gift.
Expressing appreciation in this manner positively impacts relationships and the happiness of both the recipient and the person coveying gratitude.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Gratitude
The word gratitude is derived from the Latin word gratia, meaning grace, graciousness, or gratefulness.
Typically gratitude originates from the perception of a positive personal outcome, not necessarily deserved or earned, that is due to the actions of another person.
Gratitude interventions have been evaluated favourably in studies. Writing down up to five things major or minor for which one is grateful or thankful for, on a daily or even weekly basis has been shown to increase the sense of well being in study participants.
Putting aside a minute or two everyday to express gratitude can have far reaching consequences. Experiences of gratitude have been associated with happiness, positive emotions and well being. Grateful people are less depressed, less stressed, have more positive traits and are more satisfied with their lives and social relationships.
To avoid habituation, Sonja Lyubomirsky suggests that the exercise be done on a weekly basis. Tal Ben-Shahar says that to ingrain it, the exercise be done daily and to maintain freshness one should make a conscious effort to diversify the elements. Independent studies have shown both methods to be effective.
One can practice the exercise with children by asking them at night what was fun for them during the whole day.
Reference:
Emmons RA, McCullough ME. Counting blessings versus burdens: an experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. J Pers Soc Psychol. 2003;84:377-89. [Abstract] [Full text]
Typically gratitude originates from the perception of a positive personal outcome, not necessarily deserved or earned, that is due to the actions of another person.
Gratitude interventions have been evaluated favourably in studies. Writing down up to five things major or minor for which one is grateful or thankful for, on a daily or even weekly basis has been shown to increase the sense of well being in study participants.
Putting aside a minute or two everyday to express gratitude can have far reaching consequences. Experiences of gratitude have been associated with happiness, positive emotions and well being. Grateful people are less depressed, less stressed, have more positive traits and are more satisfied with their lives and social relationships.
To avoid habituation, Sonja Lyubomirsky suggests that the exercise be done on a weekly basis. Tal Ben-Shahar says that to ingrain it, the exercise be done daily and to maintain freshness one should make a conscious effort to diversify the elements. Independent studies have shown both methods to be effective.
One can practice the exercise with children by asking them at night what was fun for them during the whole day.
Reference:
Emmons RA, McCullough ME. Counting blessings versus burdens: an experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. J Pers Soc Psychol. 2003;84:377-89. [Abstract] [Full text]
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Accepting Emotions
Right from our childhood we are told that it is improper to display emotions like anger, angst, anxiety or even affection in public. We learn to suppress several of our emotions. Slowly we are unable to express or acknowledge emotions even in private. In the process of trying to gain acceptance from others, we get to reject part of ourselves.
Tal Ben-Shahar is a writer, speaker and a lecturer at Harvard University. Tal Ben-Shahar states that we should provide a channel for the expression of our emotions. We should ask ourselves, if we have outlets like trusted friends for the expression of painful emotions. If we cant identify people whom we can trust, writing a journal is also helpful. People who are able to express difficult emotions are reported to be happier and physically healthier.
We should, however, be able to distinguish between accepting an emotion and ruminating (obsessively thinking about the emotion) over it. Further, accepting an emotion does not imply that we also accept the behaviour that might spring from it. For example, we can accept that we are jealous and yet act benevolently.
In this program video Tal Ben-Shahar talks about positive psychology and discusses tips which can increase happiness.
Tal Ben-Shahar is a writer, speaker and a lecturer at Harvard University. Tal Ben-Shahar states that we should provide a channel for the expression of our emotions. We should ask ourselves, if we have outlets like trusted friends for the expression of painful emotions. If we cant identify people whom we can trust, writing a journal is also helpful. People who are able to express difficult emotions are reported to be happier and physically healthier.
We should, however, be able to distinguish between accepting an emotion and ruminating (obsessively thinking about the emotion) over it. Further, accepting an emotion does not imply that we also accept the behaviour that might spring from it. For example, we can accept that we are jealous and yet act benevolently.
In this program video Tal Ben-Shahar talks about positive psychology and discusses tips which can increase happiness.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Happiness Traits
Originally from Russia, Sonja Lyubomirsky (Lyubomirsky in Russian means love and peace) is Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside. Lyubomirsky teaches courses in social psychology and positive psychology. Her research addresses questions like what makes people happy and how can people become happier still.
According to her, happy people have been noted to exhibit some thinking and behaviour patterns. The following is a sample of the observations.
1. They devote a great amount of time to their family and friends, nurturing and enjoying those relationships.
2. They are comfortable expressing gratitude for all they have.
3. They are often the first to offer a helping hand to co-workers and passersby.
4. They practice optimism when imagining their futures.
5. They savour life’s pleasures and try to live in the present moment.
6. They make physical exercise a weekly – and sometimes daily – habit.
7. They are deeply committed to a life-long goal and ambition.
She has also authored the book ‘The How of Happiness’ which contains happiness related information based on scientific research.
In this video Lyubomirsky discusses how learned traits influence happiness.
According to her, happy people have been noted to exhibit some thinking and behaviour patterns. The following is a sample of the observations.
1. They devote a great amount of time to their family and friends, nurturing and enjoying those relationships.
2. They are comfortable expressing gratitude for all they have.
3. They are often the first to offer a helping hand to co-workers and passersby.
4. They practice optimism when imagining their futures.
5. They savour life’s pleasures and try to live in the present moment.
6. They make physical exercise a weekly – and sometimes daily – habit.
7. They are deeply committed to a life-long goal and ambition.
She has also authored the book ‘The How of Happiness’ which contains happiness related information based on scientific research.
In this video Lyubomirsky discusses how learned traits influence happiness.
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