A significant factor which influences our happiness levels is our ‘self-image’. If you sit back and think about yourself, how do you perceive yourself as in general? Do you see yourself as a serious person, as a grim person, a no-nonsense person, a melancholic person or a happy person? Our perceived self-image makes us seek and enact accordingly. A person who has a melancholic image will find reasons to burden himself with heavy thoughts even under happy circumstances. A person who has an image about himself which communicates humour or happiness will find reasons to smile even at the dullest occasion.
An American cosmetic surgeon Maxwell Maltz noted that after corrective plastic surgery some patients experienced an immediate increase in self-esteem. However, in some cases the patients continued to feel inadequate. He then recognized that reconstruction of the physical image would not help, if there was no reconstruction of the ‘non-physical face of personality’ or ‘self-image’. He developed Psycho-Cybernetics, a system of ideas through which, one could improve one's self-image and, in turn, lead a more successful and fulfilling life. The book Psycho-Cybernetics includes several techniques and is considered a classic personal development book.
The self-image in general and that related to happiness is imbibed at various moments subconsciously and soon we start identifying that image as ourselves (‘this is me’). The fact is that this is how we have come to consider ourselves as, slowly over a period of time. The self-image can be changed through deliberate intent.
The initial step would be to relax and then create an image of yourself as happy and joyful. Imagine how you would behave, act and feel if you had the new image. Associate words like happy, joyful, cheerful, jolly, blissful, humourous, mischievious etc with this image. This may need to be practiced frequently, particularly when you recognize that you are exhibiting the previous unhappy behaviour. Several experts mention that a behaviour practiced over twenty one days becomes a habit. Each time while practicing add more details (like speech modality, appearance).
It would be very useful to align this image with the individual definition of happiness.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
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7 comments:
Ah! So the maxim that 'thoughts maketh a man' (and woman too)' has scientific backing. Well, for most men and women, confidence in their physical appearance does contribute significantly to the level of self-esteem they enjoy. However, 'non-physical face of personality' plays a greater and more crucial role in determining the degree of success (for me happiness) which they experience. The fact, though, is not without its shares of ifs and buts. The will, ability (talent), diligence and the opportunity, to be that which you hold dear in your mind's eye are pre-requisite to realisation of the more ambitious 'mental' images, and perception, of the self. However, I do admit Dr Maxwell Maltz's observation can lift the darkness and dampness of hopelessness from many a lives.
I agree. However, under the same set of circumstances the person with a better self-image will be expected to make better use of the situation.
I guess that our self image is deeply influenced from the way other people have seen us, beginning with our parents. I can imagine that, after having been called "a lazy child" for years, one is absolutely convinced to be lazy. So, co-operative parents or partners may help in changing our self image.
I agree Elisa, definitely we can do with some help, but even then it is for us to take the decision and the steps.
Well, but as parents/children/partners/friends we van help our relatives and friends by (at least) not stressing the negative sides of the self-image they offer us, or (better) offering them a positive image of themselves.
Very true Elisa, but then why limit to people whom we know personally? :o)
well, we have to start somewhere, isn't it? But you are right, I'll think about it tomorrow on the underground.
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